Friday, May 28, 2004

5:31AM

the amazement kept her awake..
she had learnt too many things to sleep now..
uncovering one life story after another..

he confessed his attraction..
knocking on the door to a commitment phobe..
only to find none of the windows open..

simple words but spoken with such intensity..
tormented by the emotions which engulfed his shaky voice..
his hands trembled as his body's heart crumbled..

the dizziness from morrow's sun..
the puzzlement of past messages conveyed..
her broken-down mind finally allows slumber..


Eyes wide shut

not the movie title..
four o'clock in the morning..
brain functioned well a couple of minutes back..

not yet in bed..
but already asleep here..
brain wondered off to a faraway land of the lambs..

hannibal the cannibal..
the silence of the lambs..
scary movie one, two and three..

happy tree friends..
till death do us part on mtv..
funny man bearing gifts asking for number..

absurb excuse..
slapped across his face..
laughs out loud and tons of giggles..

got retribution of terrible stitches..
with tears welling up in red eyes..
sleepy princess yawns and yawns..

mr. bed is cooing out loudly..
she's drunk on just air..
silly boo boo..




i can't read you

Comprehending ears:

I can't read you - Daniel Bedingfield

I'm never shy but this is different
I can't explain the way I'm feeling tonight
I'm losing control of my heart
Tell me what can I do to make you happy
Nothing I ever say seems to come out right
I'm losing control of my heart

And I wish that I could be
Another better part of me
Can't hear what your thinking
Maybe if I just let go
You'd open up your heart

But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind

I like you so much I'm acting stupid
I can't play the game I'm all intense and alive
I'm losing control of my heart
I'm not supposed to be this nervous
I should play my hand all cool and calm
I can't breathe
I'm losing control of my heart

And I wish that you could see
The other better parts of me
Feel this fire I'm feeling
Then you'd see me in control
Baby then you'd know

But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind

Bit by bit

bit by bit..
the feelings grew stronger and stronger..
bit by bit..
the smiles grew wider and wider..
bit by bit..
the emotions are tied tighter and tighter..
bit by bit..
the level of trust grew higher and higher..
just bit by bit..
a new love is blossoming..

but in time to come..

bit by bit..
the tears will dry..
bit by bit..
the feelings will fade away..
bit by bit..
the lies uttered will vanish..
bit by bit..
the wounds will heal..
just bit by bit..
life will begin once again..


Tuesday, May 25, 2004



Lady Lazarus - Sylvia Plath

I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it

A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot

A paperweight,
My featureless, fine
Jew linen.

Peel off the napkin
O my enemy.
Do I terrify?

The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.

Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me

And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.

This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.

What a million filaments.
The Peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see

Them unwrap me hand in foot
The big strip tease.
Gentleman , ladies

These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,

Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.

The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut

As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.

Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.

It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical

Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:

'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge

For the eyeing my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart
It really goes.

And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood

Or a piece of my hair on my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.

I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby

That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.

Ash, ash
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there

A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.

Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

From a cloud

cotton candy lover..
soft sweet pink..
but this is white..

hidden from the sun..
its scorching rays..
the fluff providing good sleep..

a mean-looking captain..
calling orders aboard his ship..
which will soon be of the grandest gold..

a handsome boy..
dimples at each rosy side..
giving a cheeky wink..

she peeks out from behind the cloud..
fur erasing all friction..
she prepares to fly..

the mermaid lagoon..
the smoking indian chief's tribe..
green acres of forests..

a series of bells tinkling..
she felt herself falling..
an arrow swifts by..

pain on her back..
she sees the clouds above still..
her eyes grew heavy..


Nada

Not in the least ordinary..
Angelic character draws bees to her like sweet honey..
Devilish humor with a childlike sparkle..
Attractive.. obviously borne with beauty..
Rustic charm with rich full curls..
Outstanding in the fields of debate..
Speech comes to her naturally with flair..


Monday, May 24, 2004



Cynical practicality

"I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow." William Blake

"Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real." Sylvia Plath

"Poets do not go mad; but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad, and cashiers; but creative artists very seldom. I am not, as will be seen, in any sense attacking logic: I only say that this danger does lie in logic, not in imagination." G.K. Chesterton Orthodoxy, ch. 2

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Fly away

perching nimbly on the parapet of the twenty-first storey..
her curls bobbed joyfully as she looked down..
peridot fields and sapphire oceans..
the image before her so alluring..
delirious from the fever of dance..
the result of being alcohol-induced..

her white nightgown danced in the wind..
her pink toes feeling the cool air from left to right..
she had carefully placed her slippers behind her inside..
she did not want to wear it during her flight..
fear of it being lost during the initiate fall..

she had wanted to wear her favourite red dress..
but her own clashing fiery red would appear more bloodily vivid..
on the pure, virginal white..
and she did not want to come back here..
from a color-matching toddler.. to a picture-perfect narcissist..
her face painted beautifully like a geisha..

a smile showed as she recalled her yonder days..
those glorious sunshine years..
but it all disappeared in an instant..
to the faces of those who abused her..
those who destroyed her innocence..

a better life would await her..
somewhere in the skies..
she heard him calling for her from behind..
it was her cue to let go of the life-line..
so with a sudden rush of fear came happiness..
and she flew away..


Hell in heels and a black dress

Sensuality has earned her a reputation far from notoriety..
Her body.. her face.. her smouldering gaze.. just one look..
Eats into their flesh and makes them weak at the knees.. their skin crawls..

Wanting more.. pining nights.. needing more.. desire..
Angst and hurt rules her.. ruined her..
Not a shred of self-love left.. conversation of dignity..
The mere mention of that makes her laugh.. deep from within her throat..
Scars from cigarette burns..

To be the one for her.. the only one left at the end of the line..
Opposing mindsets remind you otherwise..

Determine your worth.. kick up your level of stamina..
And stay for a while..
Notice her glance.. the cut-throat scrutiny..
Contorting your inner guts.. twisting your heart.. burn..
Eternal flames from hell..